MERRY CHRISTMAS

0kay, well, merry christmas y'all,
this christmas is indescribable. its stupid,
and unwild, so im pretty calmed down.

christmas07 isn't like those other years i guess.
well, its okay anyway, learnt not to expect much frm my life.
everybody is out enjoying the festive season,
while im at home blogging as you can see.
i miss christmas 06 loads, its funfilled and lovely,
i wonder if there'd be anymore christmas parties at my house,
since i don't even know when will my grandma recover ..

but since its christmas, well, MERRY CHRISTMAS again.
yes, but im not saying that with some dread, its meant to be happy, no?
gosh, christmas07` stinks.
and im kinda wondering, would cny08` stink even more?
some lame gatherings, thn gambling and angpow collecting,
oh, maybe there are NO gatherings, since my grandma is ill.
gosh, i feel sick all over. this is stupid, im not blaming anyone at the moment.
i can enjoy some peace on festivities. but still .... man! damnedit!

and my birthdays in less than a month's time.
should that be a plus or another occasion worth thinking goth again?
my dad would be flying again, to the states.
its a monday, ruthless monday, with schedule until 5.30.
but i guess, thats life ain't it?
my dad has to work, i have to go for whatever is compulsory out there,
sleep and get over with birthdays.
because, sarah has to learn that birthdays are just some normal day.
so what if i was born on the day huh, so much for love.
birthdays are shitty and dumb and lame and stupid. idk what else ...

but of course, i'd still say happy birthday to all of you,
cos you worth my love yeahyeahyeah whatever,
im feeling really crappy and sick and tired and kickassed down.
what's with occasions man! 210108 isn't going to be a lovely day.
neither is cny08` or today or tomorrow,
everyday's going to be the same ole'thing. that's how life shld be lived.
as if anyone knew and cared about occasions.

im sorry i've to be so crappy on merry christmas.
its suppose to be MERRY and JOLLY and HAPPY, a season of giving.
well ive given you guys more than a few paragraphs of shitful words.
im sorry i spoiled your mood on christmas, you really shldn't have clicked my link.

don't wake me up next christmas,
i prefer to sleep till dawn of boxing day.
and if new year is going to be the same all over again,
tell me ahead of time,
so i'd close the curtains and lock myself with my laptop.
but i can't not go to sch on 210108 right? its a monday,
well, i'd just have to live the normal sch day ahead,
then turn in early for the night, and dream about how my bdae might be,
if i wasn't dwelled on such a life, but maybe it was just fateful luck.

i sound sadistic and moody and shitty and un-me.
but i had to splutter everything out.
if you guys didn't know im capable of such splutters,
you don't knw me at all.