just finished the bbq with my family,
turned out okay, since it was in the familiar backyard,
i kinda visit every other day in all the times
id been living in my house -.- but its okay.

i don't know why everytime something bad happens,
it always has to close up on one person, me.
its kind of stupid and lame at the same time, because,
its like a series of unfortunate events.

tell me people, how many of you guys take things forgranted,
criticise others, then feel nothing afterwards.
like when someone really puts effort into something,
all you guys know how to do is to give those sullen faces and
those truely hurting words.
what's your point of doing all those stuff?
if you guys are so great, then just let me leave things at that.
i'm washing my hands off everything, and i'd see how you guys work.

have you felt like you did things where no one appreciated?
yes i have, i have, i have experienced it tons of times,
and i think its enough. i can't stand it any longer.

i can't stand at the sidewalk neither can i take the action cue.
i'd just have to move on, and give a damn at solely, myself.
maybe i'll let you have the feeling of my non-existence.
maybe you'd feel better then, maybe things will be better,
than when im around, do you believe things will be better?

its like i'm your homework manager, relationship accountant,
problem solver, listening year and et.cetera. but its enough.
full stop. i don't like helping you, then see you doing something so un-me.
its stupid and i don't like it, and i won't continue helping you.
that's all, yes, look at me, im serious.
don't fool around with nonsense, don't take me for granted.
because if you do, that's what you'd get, and i won't allow turning back of clocks.
thats so not in my dictionary, effoff. im pissedddd. seriously, veryveryveryPISSED.

don't tell me you don't know i feel like that.
i swear you can see it in my eyes.
feel it by my actions.
taste it by my words.

sorry, i just had to say something before i erupt like a human volcano ..




fancy speaking in this type of tone on christmas eve,
but im blooody pissed by manymanymany peopleeeeeeeeeeeee ><