hello blog. i feel like dying D:
i'm really ill and i need medicine. i don't know what's going on in my body,
and my mind.
swallowed like 2 panadols just now and nothing worked ._.
my eyes just wanna close, and my stomach's really pain,
and my heart is beating super fast, it's painful :/
i don't want to be like last time, where i used to faint, even in sch.
i've just stopped taking the stupid painkiller,
and now its back. GREAT D:

and i have choir tmrw. heng there's no PT. if not i'd really die.
...
morally, and physically.
maybe i'm already dead morally.
nothing seems to work in bringing up my morale.
sarah sucks to the core. sarah is a piece of crap.
ah, fine whatever ._.


i'm sad cos there's no one to cheer me up.
wc! why you flyyyyyyyyyy D:
bang, i suck.

hello blog. i feel like deleting you, or maybe i shall go on a hiatus D:
not because of too much workload, not because i've been typing spam,
not because of a particular person, not because im dying,
but .. its just me O_O

i doubt i'd come online often, because i'd stop asking myself to.
i doubt i'd update often, because it makes me reflect ._.
i doubt i'd hear the right music i want to hear, because dreams rarely come true.
i doubt i'd know you all forever, because .. i want to leave so much.

bye. bye. bye. bye. bye D:

hello blog.
im so sian, im going to D:
timo! come onlineeeeee :/ hurry up okayyy!(:
lalala.
okay, bye.
what a lame post.
the lamest post for century.

一天一天 贴近你的心
你开心 我关心
一点一滴 我都能感应
你是我 最美的相信
等不到双子座 流星雨
撒满天际
新点燃九支仙女棒代替
最灿烂不一定 要许多 钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典

最浪漫的心愿 便利贴
贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍

惊喜的语言 我的天 通通灵验

你和我的心愿 便利贴
贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念



hahah, open house today (: our performance was early lorh ._.
and at that time, so few people arrived only D:
but i guess it wasn't that bad.
jiayou, i bet our nxt jy target is VIENNNNNA x]


ah, did i mention, im super high today!!!! :D
cos of blofkadjkfnsjkdlfn and bkdjfalkds;fm;kldm; (:
btw, TIMOTHY YOU BETTER GET WELL SOON OKAY -.- hahahha.
gosh, im getting crazy.
forcing someone to get well soon is really crazy.
how could i force someone?! its in god's hands.




i hope you liked my surpriseeee :x hahah.
you must be in nn now :D enjoying yourself.
thank you for your nice nice surprise, ilovedit :D
yeah, i miss you too x] HAHAHAH.
see you in 1mth's time!!!! (((:
go mug in nn lah, studies most impt :DDDD HAHAHA.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D im HIGH and EXUBERANT :D


maybe,

"Conversation has a kind of charm about it, an insuating and insidious something that elicits secrets from us just like love or liquor"

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

today is a nice day.
thankyou for the surprise, it was reallllly cool :D
and it brightened up my whole day (:
you played really well, but the heart matters more :]
you'd get your surprise when u recover,
so may that be your motivation to eat more good food. LOL.
no junk ah.

o.o someone's flying tmrw, that someone's gnna recieve a surprise.
lets hope u there got internet horh. if not, hais, tonight will be the last.
LOL. and lets wait for one month over xD LOL.

tmrw's open hse. wonder who's dressing arabian.
i'd be bringing my beloved cam, and whore about. lollllosololol okay, bye.

i haven't even completed my artefacts :x
i can't believe im helping such asses like zhihao do his D:
blahsdksmaks, sarah's a sucker, still.



oh no ._. you're sick D: again.
don't wrry about anything other than your health,
cos its more impt alright, whatever's gnna happen like in the lt,
can be done another day. so long as you can move your finger muscles(:
LOL.
i can't wait for the surprise tmrw, you wont leave me in disappointment,
like you said(: i'm waiting .. :D
i really hope you'd just appear suddenly, i believe that'd be my greatest,
undisappointment, but im dreaming.
lol, i'd wait for your surprise tmrw, yeah, frm 11.45 onwards (:

when you read this at home, i should be smsing you :DDD HAHAHAH.
okay, nights and get well soon xD

kimberly didn't come sch today.
without the crapppper ._. LOL, miss you dear.
anyway, today was SLACK day :DDDD
but i sort of regretted coming sch lorh xD
did nothing at all.

first 2 periods rozana didn't come,
so what did we do? slack lorh, hah! but i completed my math(:
so got shou huo, then smsed someone and emo at the same time.
next LA, marc left us, so biollo came.
he showed us the tkam film which i'd alr watched, so slack again.
continued smsing, then RECESSS o_O ohyeah.

okay, had wanton with meiyi sofina didn't eat :/
lol! rarely see the sexayye leg meiyi eat one lah[: LOL.
then, um .. was BP.
wow. even slacker man, watched anastatiaaaaa :D my beloved childhoood tale.
okaaay, believe it or not, i LOVED anastatia like hell when i was young(:
although she's a cartooon, she's so pretttty:D
just the same as how the guy who likes mulan is shuaaai (: cos he has packs :D
LOL -.- gimme the diao face. k, nehmind.
so waste more time, then math.

did i mention after i watch tv fr very long i'd feel like sleeping?
never uh o.O so math, i fell alsp like 2 times, and mr. lim sorta woke me up.
im so slpy luh D: so many things to do and there's so little time,
then i feel so guilty watching those shows when ive so much LA left undone :/

okay, then was errr, LA again ._.
sian lah, told us the holiday homework, and its like sldkasmkdnas wth -.-
mov and tkam, killu. HAHAHAH, tkam suddenly seems like a breeze to mov D:
and the eoy format. grrrrrr. study again.

nevermind, next term, study comes b4 anything else,
before <3><
be back only arnd 9. and i'd immediately come online D: to chiong LA -.-
i'm still at artefact 1, oh shooot me, sarah cry for maycomb, uh lame.


......


and yeah# for tmrw's 'yueding'. its 11.45 at u know where (:
seee y'all :D its the heart that counts anyway,
you promiseeeeeed me. and yes, im camera-ing all these down :D
memories leh (x


i hope tmrw would turn out fine, but things i want i can't deny.
is it really the last hope ..? D:

EDIT/]
friday, i guess til' then. if nothing comes out of nothing,
i'd just walkaway. im here, all the time, i guess.

thankyou for all those nice memories throughout the past weeks.
although it was less than a month .. i think, i really treasured them all(:

<3

YAY. alvin made me high -.- ohyeahbabehszx.
cos he tAGGGGGGED O_O see lah, i so nice, credit u to make me happy.
siao lang (; hahah. and psps. i not so emo one ..

okay, appart from that small millimetre of happiness, i shall go back to emo.
:D




sheeezman :o i think i can't take one more look if not i'd faint.
TADAH. i wish i could go back to before i knew you,
before some stupid stuffs happpened and before, well, everything(:
yeah. guess tht's more than impossible actually :] hahaha.
but im trying, trying to forget u, trying to stop myself frm talkng to u,
trying to prevent some shit frm happening once again.
i've given myself enough chances and i think i'm done for it.
i shall go back to th past, back to who i was with, and not redo stupidity.
for that moment, it seems so pleasurable, typing to you,
but as your icon turns grey, i start to think n can't fall asleeep.
yes, guess thats it (:

i'm leaving and i know you won't feel a thing. cos you're not one to emo(:
JIAYOU, for everything that you do.
but i doubt i'd ever be behind u once again <3


love, sarah :D guess thats it.

can i just leave? and don't care anymore.
i guess my heart still wants to care, but it ain't there(:
LOL. im contradicting. yeahyeah -kfc.
hearing different stories coming out of everyone,
not knowing which one to believe. do i even want to know the truth?
hahah, chillax sarah :D grr ._.

i think i'd count to three, then leave for real.
im pretending to be strong but i so obviously am not.
im just some stupid girl who zibis all day :DDDDDDDDDD
tadah, see? i can still throw :D when im upset.
i suck? precisely.

ooo. i hate to emo but i guess i wont care anymore.
im happy when i see your alphabets but i guess i could live on without them.
does it even matter who gets hurt? HAHAHAH. LOL.

okay, byebye. enough of emo shit.

HEY(: hahah, today was an okay day i guess.
pissed for first 2 periods ._. then okay liao.
:D

gambatte ne sarah(: chiong LA!!!
french was fun lorh, i never slp. sitong, hyper kia.
no, im kidding. yes, im kidding -.- ER, joker.

eh disiaoer last night, tmrw be IN for a SURPRISE,
by yours truly.




i dont want tmrw to come lah -.- realllllllly D: guess y. LOL.

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子

天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单

爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行
到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信
自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你


shoot, ignore that emo bit.

OKAY. IM HIGHER AND HAPPIER NOW(:
LOLLOLLLOLL. i guess small italied texts are going to go. :D
smile.

hey dan, im back. back into your life(:
i've just awoken from my most beautiful dream.
i'm sorry for my hostility towards you for the last 2wks.
i promise i won't do that again.
yeah, you're right. i think you're the best.

helllllo. kboxing ytd with relatives was really fun(:
now my voice most seh alr (: HAHAH <3
wait, i show you pictures :D

er, dont want lah, lzy upload -.- LOL.
and since someone called ruo ask me update then i shall lorh [:

im cutting down the words for my history. fullstop.
hahhahah.

currently im feeling kinda screwed. dont know why.
maybe someone just used a scissors and poked another hole in the heart in my head -.-
LAME ME D:
i dont even know what im feeling now. guess im super low.


\IM MIXED UP I DONT KNOW WHO I LIKE -.- uhh yeah.
rw, yes. the secret. LOLLLOLLOL. besties rock lah.
i think im sounding stupid, trying to figure out who i like.
cos im quite sure i like someone but i dont knw who.
ain't it a weird situation to be in? never head b4 have you.
D: bleah.
im going to die alr, if this continues ... O_O like im going to get struck by thunder.
hahahah, sarah is being a joker. i sound hilarious.
sometimes i wonder how i can continue being a human feeling all this.
people have a certain feeling and its not like i dont have feelings,
but i can't feel what im feeling. -.-
ah, im crazy. ignore me.
it has been 2 years since i last felt like that.
that was to another somebody i guess.



bring me so near yet left me there,
cos im unsure if you could tell me what im feeling.
what's all this about.
tell me won't you. but do you even know what i feel?
hahah, bet you don't.

hey d, 17.05 the start of our pact <3

dad bought me a IXUS 950IS <3 ohyeah, babehszx. lol. HAHAH.
im high already, then mom bought me wallet(: YEAHMAN.

hahah, LEVEL CAMP rocked on. zackmunks, MUCH LOV-ED ((((:
in no particular order ..
♥CASANDRA
♥VIVIAN
♥PJ
♥SINYEE
♥ZHIHAO
♥JEVIENE
♥WEISHAN
♥WENJING
♥TERENCE
♥BRYAN
♥WENKAI
♥DEON
♥CLARA
♥JEN
♥FABIAN
... &forgetlerleh, paiseh -.-
but nevermind, i remember all your faces, just forgotten the name :D
you guys made camping in st.john's so enjoyable,
i'd always remember the times we had spent tgt :x
viv&cas, lets do the DANCE in the hallway or canteeeeen <3
... siao ar, people'd think we crzy.
hahahh -.- APPLE BOTTOM JEANS & BOOTS WITH FUR .. hurh.

most sexy lah.


anyway, campfire rocked like alot O_O faved okay.
item wasn't as bad as i thought we would pull out ((: ever-lastminute,
but jeviene and deon, PRO [[[:
hahah.
many things happened in camp .. and some made me happpy some made me sad(:
i guess, most happy things went along with zackmunks ..
but.


*i think i want to let you know how i felt when you walked by my hi. did you feel anything? well, i guess not. i emo-ed for a whole one hour, guess i cared, alot. you could ask my groupmates D:


okay, yeah, camp's over.
and I MISS ♥ALVIN (: LOL <3 stupid joker who disiaos me.
and I MISS ALOT OF OTHER THINGS.
i miss meet'g some people so many times that my frens convinced me its fate LOL.

bye.

heeelllo. its like a few more hours to deadly camp (:
okay, its not deadly. its kinda fun actually :D
lets see, hm. me, cassandra, jeviene, clara, terence <3
okay, not bad. at least i kinda knw a handful (:

mass dance today was horrible.
cos learning dance need mirror !!! ._.
if not to convert into mirror image is damn hard.
the moves for the chorus were super robotic. ><
but later on the other parts were much better.


before choir had some break,
then me and ruowei went to the LT to play piano.
... why didn't you play. ain't my point obvious for asking u there ..?

then was choir.
wow. choir sounded reallly GOOD (: sectwos pawn it all.
even ms.tham said.
hahahaha! (:
released early. hooooray.

kk, i'd blog again when i get back.
bye.

爱和痛如此纠结,悲和我无法分解
厌倦的疲累,成了一片黑
相同都已无法相灭
泪水滋润着泪水,背叛是黎明一种慰藉
完美的借口,泪无不留下,你不如用乱箭射他
我可以痛了再痛,你可以错了再错
不甘心,不闪躲,只为那失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火,你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破
即使我头也不回,这悲剧猛向我追
情愿你全部摧毁,别留着燎原的火堆
给你的自由将我吞没,给我的爱像一根绳索
你放手却困住了我
我可以痛了再痛,你可以错了再错
不甘心,不闪躲,全为了失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火,你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破
为什么……连谎言你也不说
那人也许不如你想象的那样爱你
但并不代表不是全心全意地爱你



level camp. can't wait.
feel like splitting up with my class.
:/ being with my class has no point..

being with some others has,
but you're all not in my grp (: LOL.

d, i dont need your picture,
i wont miss you, LOL.

The thing is that i'm not worth the sorrow

yesterday.
emo like hell. got pissed at almost everything :/
felt like shouting but no sound came out of my mouth.
kicking or punching something, but i knew i couldn't.
being alone, but what'd that make me.
crying beneath my jacket, but what'd the class say.

at home, msn was a lifesaver. made me happier.
to think that at least someone thought i was nice :D LOL! hahah.
so chatted till 10 plus and then, i suddenly wanted to die.
so i just crashed on the bed and fell asleeep.
i think i lack sleeep D: RAWR. hahah, and im so tired everyday.


today
was better i guess. mdm rozana asked me abt TKAM ..
and i was like TKAM so cute -.- LOL?! seriously, that person's mind got prob.
then LA! i suddenly forgot how to do comprehension!
arrr, heartbreak. comprehensions are like my .. marks gainer.
okay, must go pick up the skill again.
math was slack(: mr. lim explained the prj. yay! im same grp as CASSSS <3

okayokay. thirdlack was slack and slp too (:

yeah, and bye.


* you'd b a part of my memory

HELLLLO :D
today was okay.
eugene added 1 mark to my geog paper,
so now i have 16.5/20 :D NOT BAD RIGHT?!
hahah, the slacker has finally bucked up.
but tingster, you ah .. tsktsktsk -.-
rozana gave me full marks for sci file ((((:
YIIIIPPPPPPPPEEEEEE (((:

hahahah, okay, im feeling like really really sian.
luckily there's wc talking to me jz now.
then my bro came and i had to say bye -.-
so now im msn-less. stupid bro huh, keep seeing my stuff.
tsk.

oh yeah, and casandra and i are highfive buddies.
grr, the escapade from reality .. GAH.
ama's quotes are the best, loved them, send you me alrights(:

hahah, there's fps tmrw. gah, and piano lssn afterwards.
sigh sarah! D:

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

i dont know what to say, i dont know what to do.
your words are killing me because i dont know what's going on.
living on is like a misery itself.
glad i got my choristers and family by my side.

sometimes i really feel like backing out, of everything.
i want to close my eyes, and never open them the next day.
i want to fall asleep and never get out of my bed.
singing with my choristers forever, or mixing with my family,
everyday ... in my dreams.
then i dont have to face the horrifying reality =X

hahah, i'm wishing everything would just go away.
i dont want to think anymore.
i want to .. i want to .. die? LOL. hahah, stupid me.

i'm like the worst person living on this earth ..
so why should i even live on :/ damnedit.
i'm feeling so down.

heyy! D:
stupid aircon just died :x aircon in my ROOM D: rarr.
damnedit. now i have to sleeep without aircon -.-
okay, MAYBE, and thats MAYBE,
my bro would go upstairs to the master bedroom to sleep with,
my mom and my dad would go to my room,
so i can occupy my brother's roooom <3 which is really cosy lorh.

gah, dad refuses to let me use his study room to do my wrk.
there's like AIRCON there. but since he's big fat butt and so many things,
occupy the entire room, i ve to admit to fate,
and just live aircon-less.
not surprising if i just perish cos i NEED aircon :x

rawwwwwwwwwwwwwrs D:
why can't life be perfect throughout,
so we dont have to deal with some sorta thunder?!

let's talk this over, it's not like we're dead.

hello. ytd was really fun :D
okay, it was super slack and th result was like O_o
but i got the treat clarence promised :D
the 6bucks thingy in coffee club (: HAHAH.
and i didn't have to fork out a single cent the whole first part.
zhihao was being very mean to me throughout,
so i decided to be mean back.
zhihao INSISTED on treating sofina's younger sister.
you know the eyes he used, make people suspect he's some kinda biantai -.-
i was super unfocused till kimberly came, then we started chionging,
but my laptop batt was almost dea by then.
so we went to the library >< where we had to stay uber quiet.

we met enya and nicky on the way there :D
hahah, turned out they just finished their juben thingy at rason's(:
then we hurried on to the library to complete everything up.
so everything's done and whooopeee :/
we went to the foodcourt to eat.
sofina, kim and i had the same food which was the kimchi noodles.
realised it was actually maggie mee :[ sigh, money wasted.
but nevermind D: HAHAH.
zhihao is a PIG. he eats alot. like twice of the rest of our diet.
he bought some tomyam thingy, then later a whole western food set.
managed to steal around 1/3 of his fries. :/

didn't go sengkang to join my relatives today.
because min told me she couldn't make it ..
but later they went -.- like, grr. you should have told me earlier lah.
and then i was like, "how you guys get home?" and she was like,
"fly home ... stupid qns -.-"

and then went home :D

today
i feeel so dumb now.
i borrowed roy's acc book to copy because i didn't even copy one word,
when zhanghua was droningggg BLAH.
and i managed to copy like 4 pages, then GAVE UP.
my work is like scribbles -.- i think my grade'd be a C.
then there goes my LSP because my sewing sucked like O_O 7/20 ..
dotszx, lala .. failing is bad for health sarah!
grr, im such a slacker D: i think i'm not cut out to be a girl.
you know, copying words neatly and sewing are female's niche :/

just finished my circles assignment and practiced piano.
yay. i'm performing guitar for a christofori concert :D WHOOOPS :D
(: its like guitar ensemble. can't wait.
had to share book with edmund cos i didn't bring my bk ytd :x
and i finally heard mohliang talk LOUDLY D: what a shy guy luhs -.-
siya's mom dont allow her to participate -.- like WTH D:
i dont care, you must go. no such thing as wasting time,
performing is experience :) performing is part of the art darling ^^


okay, to end off, im bloody pissed at my damn laptop.
cos apparently, i can't start up the stupid video we took hours to compile.
we thought, okay, since cannot open, maybe tmrw can.
so i tried, and ... shucks luh. D: ytd's effort allll GONE :/
smug dust -.-

so later i'd have to complete this goddamned video which is like,
doesn't even matter to me whether i get B or A, as long as it isn't a C.
because my chinese is like O_O already.
and i must do my LA letter writing toooo ><
if not, there's no more time during the weeeekdays.
since i'm having guitar supp and piano combined D: bleah.



可惜不是你，陪我到最后 。。

letting everything go, memories flying by,
tears streaming down, promises broken.
now i hope you're gone, go forever, and dont come back.
i didn't even say, 'yes'


Hahah, today was an okay day.
i do realise that my previous post contained alot of emoing(:
crap lah ><><
HAHAH. and blasting music in class is really FUNN FUNN and FUNNNNN! (:
...

okay, and that's all for a pretty day. maybe?
ruoruo, JIAYOU <3 cca mates are the best. love, altos! :D



hey, read your blog.
dont think its my business,
but cheeerup okay! :D hahhah, im happier now ;D

退到了绝境再退,破碎到不能破碎
那么为什么,你就不肯说,我只能再一却都错
泪水灌溉这伤悲,绝望是你赐给的安慰
为何你说慌,我却受惩罚
你不如就用到此想
我可以痛了再痛,你可以错了再错
不甘心,不闪躲,只为那失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火,你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破

♥
hello dead blog. you better be less interesting if not i sense some serious hate. you better not speak so loud, have big actions and attract stupid attention. because some people hate you. yeah, i'm talking about me. really. what i said really matched me. i bet some of you hate my ways of fun. fine then, get back to when everything was a lovely silence. i'd change, because of what was said.

i feel so weird all over, sometimes i really wanna go away, faraway and never come back, to see all your faces. Its like okay, not all emotional and dragging feelings, but really, When you look at my life from a certain angle, you suddenly feel like there's no more beheld importance of it, and why live it to my fullest? :/ weird? dont drone on about me being a real pessimist or whatever, but won't you just pause and think, tell me, is my life by itself STRAIGHT? meaningful? bright? no. i mean, obviously i dont know what life's going to bring me at the end of half a century, but somehow, i can't seem to give a damn anymore.

damned,
sometimes, helping never seems to be appreciate. your lending hand never seems to get you anywhere. it derives complains for which, you are to comply, if not people may just regard you as some asshole or self-centered biatch. but hey, i'm not born to help, remind, sacrifice, and lay in misery. i mean, if i could, by all means, i would. like what i'm doing now, for some. but thing is, i dont get appreciated, it gets me nowhere. i'm doing things out of my personal limit and where does it all end up? in the trash? wowX2 :D i've to put up with your tantrums, i've to help in all ways i can, and i have to shut up and just let everything go. ohboy, that just hurts like hell. so why dont you guys just understand?! can't you? i mean, i haven't let everything go yet, but one day i should, like really, let go. pretend i dont know you all. if it ends up this way by 2009 when _____ splits up, then i'm glad to tell you to just well, pretend you dont know me.

dont freak out. but ________s, i'd just remind you so you won't forgo one thing in thought. that is, _____ ain't that bonded afterall(: "aww, thats so unshocking. i mildly forgotten." okay, maybe i'm the only stupid fool who thought that we're now like a family already. like wow. yeah, you mates can go on being who you are. you all have no problem, no problem at all. problems all lie with yours truly, so just morph me and change me enough to become who you guys want me to be. cos apparently, sarah is afraid of people tantrum, so i shall just use this advantage, bcos, sarah won't get angry. its like, i've heard that a thousand times. "have you seen sarah really angry?" well, "oh no, i haven't. the longest she could be angry with a particular thing or person is for 1 day(: you can just be angry because of her anger, and she'd say sorry. or you could just ignore and pretend she's non-existense, then she'd say sorry cos she believes in her OWN existence. or jolly well just be nice to her abit, and everything's okay." alright people, so i wont get angry huh. so i wont just paint myself in navy for all the pathetic emotions that flow through me yeah? fine, whatever ways you want it.

at times, i really love ....
choir :D like my choir mates. i think they're the best. like maybe, well, we've paved a certain path for all of us with the same passion to walk down. we're not frigs just dumped together into some chute, but we're the same in passion. i mean, 2___ ain't like this at all, other than that we're all homosapiens dumped tgt :x in choir its like, we just gossip and talk so freely, i mean, we really, okay, there's no black and gaps within us okay. we're kinda frank with each other, and tadah, we make a great team. how about my friends and mates in _____? damned it all.

seriously i can't wait for this yr to end. i can't wait to say bye to everyone in _____. wish them luck in their future footsteps, and forget everything. how i wish there was a kinda pill. the place, with all those people where i can't have free say in. because everything i say gets defended. leaving _____ is definitely for my good.i want to go vienna, cos by then, its the end of 2008, and i can say bye to everyone in ______ (: ain't that great ... if only, time could just fly by.



actually, its a simple truth, its just like that ..
like i dont get my say enough, everything i say meant abuse, everything i say was to be taken back, everything i say must company anguish and apology. fine, i shut up. i step back. i won't care anymore. strip me off my title, strip the life off me, make me like a souless wonder would you all?

its pathetic i have to say,
because in ______, i get nowhere near where i want to be in life.

but i have to thank _____, because without its value, its existense as an system of just associates, i wont be who i am today, i wont get flamed, i wont be so strong in character, i wont know what's true hatred, and i won't know hypocrisy.
however, without _______, i know whats bffs, without it, i dont think i do, anymore.