i feel mesedup, screwedup, tiedup, tangledup, etc.
seriously, i don't know what's happening to my life,
everything suddenly gets all uptight serious, you know,
then every single assedup shit is dump at my screwed up face,
and i lose freedom of speech.

i don't know how everything is put up until a stage like this.
yes, literally, i'd prefer using STAGE,
cos though i enjoy the camaraderie, i don't like being faked.
i can fake well though, cos i'm a pretty well off hypocrite.
but i kind of stopped that nowadays. yeah, i've been true i've been fair.
i know this is as if making myself sound angelic,
but its true. because i know lying gets me nowhere in life.

its like i don't have my say, and i've just got to go with the crowd's appeal?
and what the hell is that. what kind of downgraded society is that.
yes, the society of where im boring my shit off every other day,
the place with no life, no say, no willpower and no truth. how real. yeah.

i know its beeen i long time since i cut my crap of shitting about poilitical issues on this blog,
and im really sorry and apologetic if i bored you out,
but you weren't even forced to read. and i SPiLL my illogical moments with words.
yes, like pouring ABC macaroni into a plastic pink bowl. yeah, very alike.
i can't say anything to anybody, i have to keep myself shut.
and even here, i must restrain from doing any abrupt name mentionings or personality mentionings alike. -.-
ohmanz. life sucks from here on and full stop.

i seriously thought 2008 was going to be better,
maybe more self-control and care for one another around us,
but everything seems to be at a decrescendo, at what a chaotic rapid face.

im sorry but i have to be really AP at times people, im really sorry, cos i know you don't like that.
but if i don't show AP, i'd really scream my freaking lungs out,
and don't think anymore publicity is needed for myself. so much for.


TODAY
i didn't enjoy today, no i didn't. not one bit.
don't ask me why because later i uncontrollably flame on my blog.
but whatever, it just sucksass okay. yeah, suckszxzx like shit.
yes, i was exceptionally vulgar today, cos i can't stand it anymoreee :x
what the crap, and there's no one to spill to, how sad. and un-engaging.
UN-ENGAGING. yeah thats the word.

i don't know whyii've to be so pisssssed.
i don't even know who im pissed at. i realise i don't know myself at all.
i really don't know how i feel about things, people and whatever.
i just follow my feel, like you know, emotional grasping shit. yeah. thats abt it.

french you could say it sucked or rocked anything, whatevs.
i had a great time staring out of the window cos we were at the highest floor.
i stared out and faced the breeze, EMO-ING. but luckily, i didn't cry.
i swear i was about to cry, but i didn't. soyeah. pathetic shit.

i hope tomorrow's going to be a better day but i dont loook forward to it.
it isn't the same feeling i had in the past, now it way different i don't know what to make of it either.